


If There's Something You'd Like to Try

by phnelt



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Dating, Canon Divergence - Post-Iron Man 2, Fake Dating, M/M, Secret Organizations, Secret Relationship, but like unrequited fake dating, fuckbuddies to friends to lovers, lots of secrets basically, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 17:39:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18969895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt
Summary: “ -- you want me to say he’s my secret male lover? Well. He’s my secret male lover --” Nick ground his teeth while in the tiny Youtube video Tony ‘pain in my ass’ Stark mugged for the paparazzi outside of his Malibu mansion.It had been chaos since the explosive Stark Expo and the media presence around Stark had been intense. And apparently Stark had gotten a little tired of it, judging by the performance he’s giving.





	If There's Something You'd Like to Try

**Author's Note:**

> fic inspired by kangeiko, title from the smiths.

“ -- _ you want me to say he’s my secret male lover? Well. He’s my secret male lover --”  _ Nick ground his teeth while in the tiny Youtube video Tony ‘pain in my ass’ Stark mugged for the paparazzi outside of his Malibu mansion. It had been chaos since the explosive Stark Expo and the media presence around Stark had been intense. And apparently Stark had gotten a little tired of it, judging by the performance he’s giving. 

The clip ended, and Nick restarted it. 

There was Tony, in his blue tinted sunglasses. Maybe Nick would ask him if he was trying to be Bono, just to hear the annoyed way he clicks his tongue right before he says “Look --”

At this point, Nick would take any petty revenge he could get. He sighed.

He heard Coulson’s distinctive knock on his office door. He waved him in. “Boss,” Coulson began, then paused. Nick had a sneaking suspicion he knew what this was about.

“Yes?” But still, he’d observe the formalities and wait for Coulson to spit it out.

“I wanted to draw your attention to...there’s been some comments…” Or maybe he wouldn’t wait.

“Is this about the Stark thing?” Coulson looked relieved, which told him everything. “I’ve seen it.”

Once he realised he didn’t have to break the news, Coulson was all business. Nick appreciated that about him.

Coulson settled in across the desk and pulled out his tablet. “There’s been an uptick in searches for ‘eye patch man in leather coat’ and the two photos they have of you have been accessed extensively.” 

Nick pinched the bridge of his nose. Stark had needed to be debriefed after all of the incidents, and a single conversation inside of a donut wasn’t going to cut it. And now his picture was going to be all over ‘Oh No They Didn’t.’ God he hated bloggers, you couldn’t even get them blacklisted like any reputable journalist.

“Annoying, but that’s why we have contingencies for limited exposure. They’ll realise Tony’s talking shit and get bored. What else?” Coulson wouldn’t have come in just for this.

“The thing is, they’re taking it pretty seriously. And no, not just TMZ. Some of the more established gossips are buying into this. It doesn’t help that Mr. Stark seems to be committed to the line.” 

Nick tilted his head so he could better stare at Coulson with his good eye. “Explain.”

Coulson twitched his hand, which for him was a full on squirm. Nick wasn’t going to like whatever this is. “It seems like he’s been repeating his statements every time he’s asked. Which, you can imagine, is a lot.”

Nick leaned back in his chair. “Ok then.” Nick sighed. “It seems like there’s nothing for it.”

Coulson winced.

\---

The flight to Malibu took too damn long, even in an invisible stealth jet. It didn’t put him in a good mood as he stormed into the foyer with Coulson.

“Hello there, I see I’ve been upgraded from Agent.” Stark was standing there, hair dripping. Nick would put money that he’d been in the workshop til his AI warned him they were coming.

“Actually, I’m here too,” Coulson said mildly, but Stark just waved him off.

“Drink?” It was 10am but Nick thought this was more about Stark actively trying to piss him off. It wasn’t working. Mostly because Nick could see the tense line in his shoulders; he was playing at nonchalance but he was nervous.

So Nick just said, “Sure. Scotch, on the rocks.” Stark lifted the crystal off of a decanter, and Nick added, “I heard you dad’s collection was something to be seen.” Stark tensed. That was an easy one, Coulson had told him all about Howard’s home videos, the touching comments. But Nick knows people and forty years of feeling not good enough don’t get wiped away with one drunken posthumous confession.

Nick settled in on the couch and waited for Stark to bring the drink right to him. He waited til Stark got close before finally reaching out to grab the glass from his hand. He let his fingers brush Stark’s deliberately and -- there. Stark’s eyes went heavy, just for a second. Nick just settled more into the couch, legs spread, cradling the glass. It was good stuff.

Stark settled in across from him.

“I’ve never believed in chit chat so let’s get to it. Why did you do it?”

Stark picked at an imaginary speck of lint. “Why did I do what?”

“I thought you might say that. Coulson?” Coulson pulled out his tablet, turned it on. Stark eyed it curiously. It was SHIELD issue and slightly more square than the StarkPads that would be hitting the market in a couple of months.

The tinny speakers called out:  _ ‘who could resist the eyepatch, am I right, ladies? Or I guess fellas. That’s what we’re talking about, right. Cross market appeal?’  _

Stark’s expression didn’t change. So Nick spoke again, “Now, my memory isn’t what it used to be, but I’m pretty sure I’d remember the  _ torrid affair  _ you’ve been describing. So explain.”

“They asked why you were here, and I couldn’t say super secret spy organisation, now could I? And I don’t sell weapons anymore, so no one can say it might hurt our military contracts. So why shouldn’t I say we’re fucking?”

Nick felt his bad eye throb. “Maybe because of the super secret spy organisation part? We don’t generally want people looking at us.” Stark looked down and away. Interesting.

But he said nothing. And this was going nowhere fast. “Coulson.”

“Sir?”

“Step out. I need to talk to Stark in private.” And moments like this were why Coulson showed his value: he just did it. No negotiation, no complaining.

Which was more than he’d ever be able to say for Stark. 

Nick held Stark’s eyes while they listened to Coulson shuffle out. When he heard the door click, he stood up and walked over to Stark. Stark’s head tipped back, and back, until he was looking straight up at Stark, neck bared. Nick was close enough that he could reach out and put his hand on Stark’s neck if he wanted. As it was, he watched a drop of water follow the path its brethen had set from behind Stark’s ear, down his neck, to his chest where Nick knew the improved arc reactor sat, glowing.

“Let’s try this again,” Nick started, voice lowered, ready for the way Stark’s eyes went half lidded. “What do you want?”

Stark swallowed. “Who says I want anything.”

Nick snorted. “Seems to me, if you want something, you should ask for it,” and he took a step back.

Stark’s eyes flashed in challenge, or in anger. It didn’t really matter. “And if I ask?”

“Then you might get it.”

“And if I said I wanted to suck your dick?” He was clearly aiming for bored, but Nick heard the hunger under the words.

“Then I’d tell you to get on your knees.”

Nick would give him this, when Stark wanted to move, he could move. Nick threw down a cushion -- Stark wasn’t twenty any more -- and Stark went to work. Nick had been getting hard since he started to loom over Stark and Stark pulled his half-hard dick into his mouth, pulling Nick all the way in while Stark’s hands landed themselves squarely on Nick’s ass, holding him there.

Nick had a pretty good idea of what Stark wanted, but he wasn’t going to give it to him yet. He stayed perfectly still while Stark hollowed his cheeks and bobbed on him a little bit. He could tell it was frustrating Stark and he smiled.

Making an affronted noise which caused Nick to shudder, Tony pulled back. “You know, this is generally a participatory activity.”

“You seemed to be doing pretty well all on your own. Or are you feeling lazy?” Tony rolled his eyes, but he got back to it.

But Nick was feeling a bit more generous so he pulled back a little and slid forward into Tony’s mouth. Tony held perfectly still, breathing shallowly, eyes bright and gazing up at him.

It was the look more than anything that did it. Nick wanted to climb inside Tony.

He slid back and Stark’s eyes slid shut, pleasure drunk. Nick moaned. Just a small one, but he could tell Tony heard it by the way Tony’s hands twitched on Nick’s ass.

Nick settled into a rhythm, testing Tony’s limits and getting a couple of fingers around the base of his dick when he found them. Some choking could be hot, but Nick didn’t want to have to be careful. He wanted to use Tony the way he wanted, wanted to bruise those lips and leave him tender.

And Tony made it so. Damn. Easy. Just opened up for him and held on. When Nick came he pushed all the way in, both hands on Tony’s shoulders to balance himself and rode out the wave.

After, he threw himself down on the couch next to where Tony had been sitting.

“Um,” Tony said, expectant.

Nick thought about leaving him hard and unsatisfied, but he was in a good mode now so he gestured to his lap. Tony rolled his eyes but climbed on, knees spread wide around Nick’s hips. Nick just pushed his sweat pants down over his ass and his dick sprang free.

“Hello happy,” Nick murmured.

“Happy’s actually a friend of mine so if you could not mention --” Nick gave Tony’s dick a long pull which shut him up real quick. Which was almost a shame really, because Nick liked hearing the small rasp in Tony’s voice.

Nick kept it up, constant steady pressure with the occasional stroke on Tony’s balls til Tony started jerking into Nick’s grip helplessly. Nick just grabbed tighter and Tony said ‘oh,’ and fell forward, pressing his lips against Nick’s, trying to kiss him, but unable to coordinate himself. Nick helped him out, kissing him back, driving his tongue into Tony’s mouth, biting his lower lip til Tony groaned and spurted into Nick’s cupped hand.

Nick wiped his hand on Tony’s shirt and Tony laughed. Not a small huff of breath, but a full cackle.

“I just took a shower, you know.” Tony was aiming for grumbling but he was smiling.

“I know.” And Tony Stark was a nuzzler, who knew. But Nick had to ask, “How long have you wanted me to do that?”

“Since you asked me to step out of the donut.”

\---

Nick thought that would be the end of it, except two weeks later Coulson popped his head into Nick’s office with yet another stupid Youtube clip.

_ “Tired of him? I think you mean tired out by him, the man is just insatiable.”  _

Nick closed his eyes.

\---

When he got into the house, which the AI creepily let him into -- he was never going to get used to that -- it was dark except for a path down the stairs.

Fair enough.

Tony was in the workroom, looking at an exploded holographic schematic of...something. It was hard to tell when the bits were all over. But Nick guessed it made sense to Tony, who was muttering to himself as he moved pieces around.

Nick cleared his throat and Tony jumped.

He almost smiled but managed to stop himself. He did have a reputation to maintain, after all.

Tony smiled at him, back in control. God but the man could look smug when he wanted to. “Hi there, kitten.” Only practice kept Nick from rolling his eyes.

Nick stomped up to him. “No hello?” Tony asked, fake wounded.

He really did roll his eyes this time. “What did I say?”

Tony actually looked puzzled for a second. “You say a lot of things.” His eyes darted back to his hologram.

Nick grabbed the back of Tony’s head and turned it towards himself. “What did I say?” He let his voice go low, and dangerous. He hated repeating himself. But Tony was smart. He’d get it.

“You said I had to ask.” Nick waited. Tony’s eyes roved around, naked without the sunglasses, looking for any way out of this, but Nick was implacable. HE would have Tony under Nick’s terms or he wouldn’t have him at all.  And so he waited for Tony to ask. 

Finally, Tony huffed out a breath and said, “I want you.” Nick had been expecting something more along the lines of  _ fuck me,  _ but he could roll with a euphemism. Tony wasn’t done though. “In a bed. I want you to fuck me in a bed.”

Nick let the corner of his lips curl up.

“I can do that.”

\---

After that, there was no reason for them not to fall into a routine, with the unspoken condition that Tony would stop running his fool mouth off to reporters and instead run it off directly to Nick so he could shut him up.

Nick knew routines were dangerous for spies, but Nick had a whole list of rationalisations for justifying this which started with ‘didn’t he deserve something nice’ through ‘Maria had been on him about getting a work-life balance’ all the way to ‘Tony was at least 50% self-destructive -- and that was good for the American economy.’

But at the end of the day, it really boiled down to the fact that he was having a surprisingly good time and life had taught him to grab anything that felt good while it was on offer.

This worked pretty well for a few months, until Tony came up in a World Council meeting. 

“Come again?” Nick said, hoping that the glitchiness of the holographic technology would cover for his surprise. Judging by the knowing look on Councilwoman Hawley’s face, it didn’t work.

“I said, did you know Tony Stark changed the terms of his will?”

Any answer right now would be the wrong one, so he waited.

“Funnily enough, he’s included you as a major beneficiary. Not SHIELD. You directly.” Fucking Tony, what was he playing at? But still, he waited. She asked, “Do you have any idea how many Stark Industries shares you would get if he died?”

For a second, Nick doesn’t understand the question. Then his vision whites out. “Is that a threat?” He growls.

She looks taken aback for a second, and then shrewd. “No, it was an observation. And a question about whether you’re compromised. But I think you just answered that.” Nick felt a single bead of sweat form at the top of his back. That tone never meant anything good. “We’ll be in touch.” And they winked out.

Well.

That was interesting. And probably had horrible consequences that weren’t worth even thinking about.

But in the meantime, there was something he had to do.

\---

“What’s this?” Tony said as he came up the stairs. Just like the first time, except he was fully dry. Nick gave him a critical once over, and found a small smear of grease, right above his elbow. He’d been working on the cars again. Nick took a small bite of pleasure from realising that Nick didn’t rate the hasty scrub down treatment anymore. He got to see Tony as he was.

“It’s wine.” Nick passed a glass over as Tony collapsed down next to him.

Tony took a sip and didn’t even roll his eyes. “I meant the papers.” He tried to sound annoyed, but he was grinning while he did it.

“This,” Nick pointed at the first stack, “is an ‘Intent to Enter into a Relationship with a Non-SHIELD Civilian’ form, with the ‘Conflict of Interest’ disclaimer attached.” Tony leaned back so he could stare at Nick, for once at a loss for words. Nick tried not to feel smug that he’d now found two ways to shut Tony Stark up. “I’ve already been chastised for not filing this earlier.”

“Earlier?” Tony sounded honestly confused. Adorable.

“Yeah, maybe before you went and made me independently wealthy.”

“Ah,” Tony said, and ran one hand through his hair. “You know, that’s not a big thing. I do that for everyone.”

Nick just fixed him with a stare. “You’re saying you do this for every random person you fuck?” His tone is mild but the words are harsh and Tony flinches. “I didn’t think so. I’m betting if I looked that it’s a short list of people who you’re carving off pieces for.” Nick knew that Colonel Rhodes and Ms Potts would be on it, but who else? Was there anyone? Nick takes a sip of his wine before putting it down on the table before turning to face Tony who is staring at him, wide-eyed. Nick would never say that Tony looks young -- when Tony smiles he’s got lines and crow’s eyes that crease up for days -- but there’s an optimistic shine in his eyes that gives him a vulnerability that strips years off his age. If Nick wasn’t already dangerously close to having a sappy feeling, the look on Tony’s face would get him there.

“What are you saying?” Tony sounded confused, and a little helpful. Nick reached out and grabbed his hand.

“I’m saying: ask me. Ask me for what you want.”

Tony didn’t hesitate. “Go steady with me.”

And God help him if Nick didn’t bust out laughing. He shook his head a little, but the smirk on Tony’s face just set him off again. The man always knew what he was doing. Nick knew that he could play it off as a joke and Tony would shrug and nothing would change, but Nick would always know that Tony had wanted more, had asked for more, and Nick hadn’t gave it to him.

But it just so happened that Nick didn’t plan to take it as a joke. In his mind he heard Tony say,  _ if I ask?,  _ and  _ I want you.  _ And he remembered the look that stole across Tony’s face when Nick offered him the most romantic of gestures: bureaucracy.

_ If you ask, Tony, you just might get it. _

Nick wanted to give him things, things Tony asked for, but he also wanted to give him intangible things, like for Tony to know that he  _ could  _ ask and Nick would do his damnedest.

But that was a whole lot of dramatic bullshit that he wasn’t sure he could put into words if he tried. The point still stood, however, and he wanted Tony to get it, so he said, deadpan, “Good, cause I brought my letterman and everything.”

It was a good thing that he’d put down his wine because a second later his lap was full of eager Tony, who seemed to have no qualms about asking for some things, at least.

Much later, Tony rolled over in the bed and turned to Nick with such an earnest expression on that Nick knew whatever came out of his mouth was going to be bullshit. “So that’s a ‘yes’ then?”

Nick rolled his eyes and pulled Tony in for a kiss. “Shut up,” he said, pressing their lips together.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please imagine Coulson, Natasha, and Maria all plying an extensive trade in salacious gossip about Fury and Tony's Epic Romance because no one believes they've only been together for such a short time. And Fury doesn't want anyone to think he was that easy to win over so he doesn't contradict them.
> 
> Comments are loved! Even sharing a line you liked means a lot.
> 
> You can reblog: [Here](https://routerdecomposer.tumblr.com/post/185146955479/if-theres-something-youd-like-to-try-phnelt)


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